After bragging how much he drank the night before and how much he planned on drinking Thursday night, the Cugino has gone missing.
Any leads to where he may be should be reported to booyow.net@gmail.com or to your nearest firehouse.
Thanks in advance for your help.
The Cugino formally joined Red Sox Nation in the early hours of Saturday morning. The reason for this betrayal? Love. The Cugino claims he fell in love with a woman at Halligan bar. While no one knew her name, one Booyow.net reader stated, “Yea she looks like that person from The Wrestler.” I then congratulated The Cugino that his new love looked like Marisa Tomei, but the reader responded, “No, I meant she looks like The Wrestler, literally, she looks like Mickey Rourke.”
Booyow.net has learned that over the weekend there was a possible sighting of Richie “The Magnet/Magnetizer” Paladino. The Magnet has eluded photography for many years but Booyow.net received these exclusive pictures. The picture on the left was created by a hi tech computer that used various eye witness accounts to generate a sophisticated rendition of The Magnet. The picture on the right was taken outside of Spoon at 2:13 AM, but there is not enough substantial evidence to show this is The Magnet.
Booyow.net will continue to follow this story.
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Today is unfortunately the 146th anniversary of our good friend Stonewall Jackson’s death.
At some point in the day you should toast the General, think of His illustrious undefeated career, and perhaps speak of one of His maxims. We miss you and hope you did cross that river and rest under the shade of the trees.
The Cugino Mourns the Death of Vince’s Ego
Somewhere over a barstool at the corner of the bar in Hal’s a
betrayal of epic proportions led to a local hero (gentleman and scholar)
being repeatedly shot down in a change of fate nothing less than tragic.
The foreign combatants (a Tiger’s fan, a Greek and a Jew) swarmed in
an unseen maneuver, leaving the experienced lady’s man without
defense. Only a wingman could have saved him, but…
BETRAYAL!
“I was where I felt comfortable,” says the Hero, “camped at the
corner of a bar, and things were going too good to be true. A cute,
drunk girl with a Tiger’s jersey came up to me, said she had nowhere
to sleep for the night, hadn’t eaten all week and had daddy issues
[paraphrasing]. She was a lay-up. Next thing I know, Stock Hawg 08 talks
to her for a minute, she shoots me down and runs out.”
And that’s where things fell apart for the hero. Instantly
afterwards, the Greek embarrassed the Hero in front of the Jew and it
was over. The betraying wingman then ate all the Jew’s cherries and
threw the juice down the Hero’s back as a final sign of disrespect.
Says the hero of the experience:
“I was embarrassed in front of the only 3 girls I’ve ever really
loved. I needed support and with those girls smiling at me all at once
the G-force in my Penis was too much to bear. I got lightheaded and went
down in flames.”
Services for Vince’s Ego to be announced
