4:37: The Seahawks coach looks like Mark Wahlberg.
4:39: We’re going into the half. The Bears trail the Seahawks by 6 points. Their stupid kicker decided to miss a 43 yard field goal. We’ll see if that decision proves to be stupid in the next half.
4:59: Faithful readers! My sincerest apology for not live blogging this intense opening few minutes of the half! The necessary and occasional need to eat hit me, as my stomach was struck with hunger. I satiated the hunger by cooking a sirloin steak, purchased from Dominick’s grocery store for the fair price of $2.99 a pound. A deal if there ever was one! But Back to the action!
The Bears scored a touchdown, it was challenged, and the appellate court, I mean referee upheld the decision. Bears about to take a one point lead. Huzzah!
5:03: For the record, I knew that the fumble from the first half should be challenged and overturned. Nothing gets past this sports expert!
5:05: The Bears kick the ball down the field, and the man returns the kick off to the 26 yard line. Surely, their offensive teams will run onto the field, and try to get the ball down field.
5:06: The Bears sack the quarterback! The foot locker employees are throwing flags.
5:07: The pin striped man with the tiny megaphone says we facemasked someone.
5:07: My steak is cooked medium rare. A warm pink, bloody center. The fat on this steak taste terrific.; another penalty flag is down. More facemasking.
5:08: If this sport was scored by counting facemasking, we’d be winning by a lot.
5:08: Good pass by the green-shirted QB. Between his passing, and our penalties, the Seahawks may score themselves a touchdown.
5:09: U2 really fucked Edgeron James when it comes to claiming nicknames.
5:10: Another successful pass. What a fucking jerk.
5:11: The Bears use a timeout.
5:12: Justin Forsett it and forget it.
5:13: Another missed field goal. This guy loves missing field goals. Which would be fine. If his job didn’t require him to make them.
5:15: Promos for House tell me I’ll see something I won’t expect. It then shows House quitting his job. I now expect it.
5:16: If I were Lovie Smith, I’d make Hester cut his hair. He looks like a fucking idiot. Who’s he think he is. Jessie Spano?
5:17: Maynerd kicks the ball. Balls near the 10 yard line. Hopefully we don’t feel the need to touch the other team’s face masks this time around.
5:18: Sweet interception!!!
5:20: I bet taking that safety is looking like a better decision now, eh Wallace?
5:21: Matt Forte, whose name I will remember by thinking of as the unfunny Will Forte’s brother, runs the ball for a few yards.
5:22: Olsen catches the ball. Third down.
5:23: Well, we’ll get a field goal out of this. At least the ogre who jumped on the ball had the sense to not pick it up and run. Give that man an award.
5:23: The Gould Standard.
5:24: We are up by four points.
5:25: Both commentators have bad ties.
5:26: Why they would be standing is beyond me.
5:26: Mark Wahlberg seemed happy with that result.
5:27: New nickname for Nick Roach: Papa.
5:27: Afalava was mad about not intercepting that. That, or he realized his last name is “Afalava.”
5:28: Idonije. Where we getting these fucking people from?
5:29: Good duck by the referee! He almost had his head taken off!
5:30: The Seahaqwks look like a bunch of lemon-lime gatorade juice boxes. But regardless, that was one lucky throw.
5:33: Recent picture of Seahawks QB: http://content.etilize.com/Large/1010042611.jpg
5:34: No one said this wasn’t a game of emotion. What the fuck is this guy talking about?
5:34: Stupid Mare.
5:37: Jim Bruher.
5:38: Nickname for Johnny Knox: “School of Hard.”
5:52: Fuck.
5:54: He didn’t get that.
5:55: That’s the second interception Alfalfa should have had.
5:57: Max Payne seems happy with that made field goal. Bears: proof that you cannot rely on missed field goals to win games.
