Loyal Booyow.net reader and columnist Bruno reached out to me to publish two very important Craigslist ads of his, he is in dire need of finding his friend and someone to sublet his apartment.

Booyow.net will look to support any and all aid to him!

Best of luck Bruno!

Captains Todd Heap (Left) and Matt Schaub (Right) applaud Team Owner Fred (Center) on pick ups such as Mike Sims-Walker

The title of this article is what Car Ram Rod owner Fred Walz stated in a tearful press conference earlier today after the team was eliminated from the playoffs. When Fred addressed his players with, “The failure is mine, not yours.” the crowd immediately began to jeer screaming “Calvin Johnson! Michael Turner! Jason Witten!” Fred would not blame any individual for the defeat, taking personal responsibility for the loss.

The solemn affair was after a 10-4 season, in which Car Ram Rod led the league in wins and a -14 point favorite in the first round of the playoffs. Captain Matt Schaub commented, “We had a real great year, I’m glad Fred took me in the 8th round of the draft as the last starting quarterback taken in the league. I’m a little upset Fred took the blame, some players did not play up to their draft values and other players showed Fred’s great strategy in drafting players and getting the most out of that given round value.”

Long time Car Ram Rod captain Todd Heap also added, “Chris Johnson in the 3rd Round? Matt Schaub in the 8th Round? I am surprised this team did not make it to the championship, there was incredible depth at our running back position with Joseph Addai (in the club) and Pierre Thomas as back ups, but we all failed in the playoffs. Even though I caught two touchdowns in the first round, it was a collective defeat for all of us.”

Fred would not comment if a three year drought from winning a championship will cost Car Ram Rod its sponsorship deal from Ticonderoga Pencils or if the team would keep contact with first round draft pick Michael Turner.

This week’s review: Taken, starring Liam Neeson

LIAM NEESON RULES in this EDGE-OF-YOUR-SEAT, HEART POUNDING THRILLER. In his BEST MOVIE SINCE THE DARK KNIGHT, NEESON GIVES AN OSCAR WORTHY PERFORMANCE.

Taken, FILLED WITH TWISTS AND TURNS, WILL KEEP YOU GUESSING UNTIL THE END. With its lessons against promiscuity, traveling to Europe, and listening to U2, this movie FIRES ON ALL CYLINDERS from beginning to end.

The movie swaps out your tried-and-true Russian villains for Albanians. A bold move by the creators, which was BRILLIANT. There are a few things I missed the first go around, so I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IT AGAIN.

Surely, Taken is the DEFINING THRILLER OF THE DECADE.

Karen, Jen, and Danielle attempt to solve the question of Post WWII Europe in Yalta this past week.

The alleged culprits of the many fights in Lincoln Park choose their next victims

Chicago Police showed in a recent report that bar fights in the Lincoln Park area have sky rocketed over the past two months. No official reason was noted, but many suspect the two gentlemen in the above picture are to blame. One victim commented, “Whenever I ordered a beer, they both said to me, ‘Interesting Choice.’” Another victim stated, “They move in to your space, it is very effective because they have a third person there to box you out.”

When police questioned one of the above men on whether he was at Kelly’s Pub last Friday, he replied, “Who wants to know? Because you don’t know.” Booyow.net was able to reach the unidentified man on the left and inquired if he had any involvement in the recent bar fights, the only response we received was, “You can’t handle me.”

Booyow.net cannot confirm or deny the man in the above photo is the same person who purchases his clothes from the future.

Photo courtesy of B News