Local Twin Lakes’ residents pray at Church that the Mushroom crop is not devastated by the current heat wave.

Chucky (left) advises Ricky (middle) to keep praying, while Chucky (right) persuades him to take a trip to the Pink House late Friday night.

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Bruno ridin’ to work on LaSalle St.

Booyow.net would like to applaud the efforts of Bruno as an environmentalist. Bruno, a Dean’s list law student and a great cousin/friend/roommate, recently purchased an electric bike to cut down on pollution for his commute to and fro work.

The Burglar can’t help but point and laugh at a group of unsuspecting victims

Booyow.net has been flooded with calls over the past month of a Casanova Burglar roaming the neighborhood of Lincoln Park. Although he has no name, the above picture shows what he looks like. This man has been accused of stealing women from men at local bars. His victims claim that they are talking to a girl one second, turn around, then the girl is gone at another bar. Rumors state the Burglar brings them to late night spots such as Butch McGuire’s, many speculate this is in fact the Burglar’s lair. Some claim he disguises himself as a wingman, “One night I was at Halligan Bar when all of a sudden this guy came up and started talking to these girls with me. I flinched for a second and he was gone, outside smoking a cigarette with them, luckily I was able to get out there to try to take them back.”

Booyow.net alerts all men in Lincoln Park that this highly skilled Burglar may steal your women at any point.

Rosenhaus, Joe, and Daley, who cited Divine Intervention as the reason Joe signed

Members of Bridgeport and the Chicago Club going scene were shocked early this morning as they heard Joe would be leaving one group for the other. At a press conference held at Ricobene’s, Joe announced he would not extend his contract with the Chicago Club scene, instead he would resign with his old crew back from his younger days. Rumors swirled within our circle as we saw Joe two straight weekends in a row and thought he’d be back. When we asked Joe why he signed back with us, he stated, “One word: Daley. He’s back from college now (I think) and he’s always up for going out and calling me a ‘Bitch Bitch.’ I’m looking forward to drinking in Vince’s basement as some point in the week and doing all the things I used to do. I want to get a Risk game going again so Fred can beat everyone, then I step in and defeat him.” Joe’s agent Drew Rosenhaus would not discuss the monetary figures of the deal, but thought Joe was crazy for signing a 4 year deal, “He’s leaving beautiful women in clubs for 12 guys who sit in a basement and drink together, it’s crazy, but the kid’s got heart.”

Welcome back Joe!

Woody and Shannon dine at Kelly’s

Booyow.net would like to congratulate Mike and Shannon on their wedding day and an apology in advance to Shannon’s family for the wedding reception.

John hardly met any of the requirements to join the team, except the 1950s Press Fedora

Long hours. Low pay. Two of the many reasons why people never last on the Booyow.net Investigatory team, but late Tuesday night John agreed to a two year agreement with the illustrious team. The list is long on what qualifies someone for the team, while John met little to none of these characteristics, he did possess the right hat for the job. We at Booyow.net hope that the 1950s Press Fedora will bring us back to the classic days of news.

Left to Right: Winston on the grill, Vince, Cugino, Fred (Not Pictured: Working)

In a strange occurrence of the continued showing of emotion (evidence here and here), Vince decided this week to support his good friend the Cugino on strike. Vince commented, “I’m just trying to get out here and support one of my really good friends and my favorite roommate. I’ve really enjoyed him on strike, we wake up, have breakfast, then watch cartoons in our pajamas on the couch and tell stories of old. My only wish is that Fred could join us, but he’s so busy at work these days making overtime and doubletime, he can never come.” The Cugino on the other hand was a little upset with Fred for not going on strike himself, citing, “Friends don’t let friends cross picket lines.”

Booyow.net wishes the best of luck to Vince and the Cugino.

General Mills says ChuckleBerry Cereal is composed of roughly 90% Grilled Chicken Breasts.

This is America. – JPC
E Pluribus Unum – Don King