After twelve days in to the intense P90X workout, the Cugino is still being taken to the limits by the program.  After the Cugino exercised (and swore at the television) for a full hour, he was completely wiped out.

Later in the day, Uncle Chucky came to reinforce the foundation when he found out the Cugino was doing jumping jacks in the apartment.

After three years of service to the apartment, the Futon will finally be retired on April 20, 2010.  Lasting far longer than anyone ever imagined, the Futon will not only be remembered for its durability, but the sentimental value attached to it.  Countless men and women shared intimate moments on the Futon, as well as some heartbreak.*  There will be a short ceremony commemorating the Futon this weekend.

* Nicole Lehr

… Or does new Blackhawk Kim Johnsson look like the lovechild of Beslic and Anthony Scalise?

After a trip to Taco Erindera, the Cugino (per usual) ordered way too much food.  The Cugino decided he was going to take his nachos home with him.  That is until he left them on the roof the car.  As John began to pull away, the nachos fell from the roof and landed on the back windshield wiper and stayed there for an amazing 6 blocks.  The nachos must have known just how bad the Cugino wanted to eat them.

The Walz family celebrates John's accomplishment

John Walz, a glorified secretary at a downtown Chicago law firm, helped secure a six-figure settlement earlier this week.  Walz helped craft a mediation memo in a highly contested wrongful death car accident case in which the Defendant denied liability numerous times.  Though Walz is only able to put in 25-30 hours per week at work* he wrote what associate attorney David “Jumpin Catfish” Vander Ploeg referred to as “as great, solid memo.”

Even more amazing was the fact that the settlement was reached in McClean County, Illinois, where locals chase plaintiff’s attorneys out of town with pitchforks and torches.  “I’ve had people, namely unemployed people, question my work ethic,” said Walz, “but it doesn’t phase me.  At least I never got fired by Outfit Events.”

*25-30 more hours than brother Fred, pictured above in the shit-brown polo

No surprise at #1.

Click the thumbnail for a larger image.

Sometimes a picture IS worth a thousand words.

If you look close...

As the month-long nationwide search for Roti continues, clues begin to surface as to his whereabouts.  If you have any information, please contact Booyow.net/john as soon as possible.

In what came as a surprise to most of the graduating class of 2009, BVT topped Willy for valedictorian at Clown College DePaul University.  While Willy posted an impressive 3.58 GPA, BVT blew past him with a 7.83 GPA.  Rumors began to swirl as to just how it was possible for BVT to eclipse Willy’s stout GPA.  Some believe it was BVT’s choice of major (Astronomy) as being the reason for the huge gap. “You know,” said Willy, “maybe I should not have spent so much time sculpting my massive biceps and hit the books harder.  It’s hard to beat BVT, especially given his major.  I mean, the guy spends the majority of his time in outer space.”

BVT was updating his facebook status and could not be reached for comment.

No explanation needed.  Enjoy.