Free Coffee and Doughnuts, but not Pop....

Outrage spread throughout the R&B office today when the price of pop, once free, now jetisoned to 75 cents.  Since anything multiplied by zero is zero, it is mathematically impossible to determine the exact percent increase in the price.

With the economy slumping even further into recession, experts thought that oil would be the first commodity to see a jump in price, but that has not been so.  It has been hypothesized by econominists such as Noble Prize winner Paul Krugman that the price of a can of Coca-Cola could go as high as $23.75 by the end of this fiscal cycle.*  My advice?  Begin rationing your Coca-Cola now.

*No such study exists

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No, it can’t be…..

The video pretty much speaks for itself.

This Saturday, Willy once again defended his crown as the Universal Master of Chugging (UMC).  After receiving yet another challenge from Dominic, Willy proved yet again there is no one close to taking his crown.  The gracious Willy even spoke highly of his competitor afterwards, but it was only because Dom had to be home in time for curfew.

Spotch went face first into the cake

What started as simple act of kindness ended up wreaking havoc on the newly finished basement at 3636 Union on Saturday Night. After a birthday party, Karen decided to bring over cake to the 5 or so idiots playing beer pong at the apartment. In a matter of minutes, cake was beating eaten without hands, thrown across the room and stuck in people’s ears.

After a lengthy cleanup, the residents of 3636 Union declared an effective ban on all cake-type products and their derivatives. This comes on the heels of the Great Bruno Popcorn Ban of 2008 which has already stirred enough controversy. No word yet on the status of other pastries.

No, that is not Mike Daley, just a random Halligan patron.

Today, a Cook County Circuit Judge issued an order mandating that a local Chicago law firm hire Bruno (pictured above).  The Court explained that Bruno, who suffers from the rare condition of having a bag-head and pupils sensitive to minimal light exposure, was part of a protected handicap class that could not be discriminated against.  After exiting the court, Bruno addressed the media saying, “Today is a huge step for all of my fellow bag-heads with sensitive pupils.  No longer will we be forced to work in storage rooms or coal mines.  Today is the day we show our bag-faces to the world.”

In other news, it was a slow day at Romanucci & Blandin, LLC.

This simply cannot be a coincidence. Bruno’s birthday and the National Championship (with Florida playing again too) on the same day? No way. It’s a sign. I think that is almost mandatory that we all attend Halligans on Thursday to see if both the Gators and Bruno can repeat their performances from 2006.

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The BCS National Championship is this Thursday, and we all know who Mikey is going to be rooting for.  Hopefully Mikey will be Halligans to repeat his performance in 2006 when he single-handedly willed Florida to victory.

All of us here at booyow.net/John (just me really), would like to thank Willy for the new picture atop of the page.  As you can see, it features me as well as my hero, idol and life-coach-from-the-grave Sammy Davis Jr.